


Lamento Mexicano

by kinkster (gotvodka)



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Catholic Guilt, Churches & Cathedrals, Confessional, Gen, Infidelity, Internalized Homophobia, Religious Guilt, carola martinez mention, esteban ocon mention, mentions of cheating, mexican problems y'know?, pulls out my bible, sorry god, wow i had to sort of go back to thinking about the time i was catholic because im a pagan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21578590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotvodka/pseuds/kinkster
Summary: Sergio goes to confession
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Lamento Mexicano

**Author's Note:**

  * For [untouchableocean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/untouchableocean/gifts).



> Dios te salve, María, llena eres de gracia, el Seńor es contigo.  
> Bendita tú eres entre todas las mujeres, y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre, Jesús.  
> Santa María, Madre de Dios,  
> ruega por nosotros, pecadores,  
> ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte.  
> Amén  
> 

To Sergio churches were all the same, they felt cold and unwelcoming as if God had turned his back on him. This feeling had only began to come up recently and Sergio knew it was because the Lord had seen his sin. He held his breath as he pushed the heavy wooden door open and stepped into the unwelcoming cathedral. Before making his way deeper into the church Sergio dipped his first two fingers into the holy water and did the sign of the cross.

He could feel the eyes of the stone apostles staring at him, their looks unforgiving as he walked to sit in one of the first few pews. For the most part the church had been empty as it was only Sergio, an elderly woman, and the father who was attending to her. It wouldn’t be until Sergio sat down in the pew he finally exhaled the breath that he was holding. 

Sergio tried not to listen into the low conversation the elderly woman and the priest were having as he waited for them to finish up so he could go into the claustrophobic confession box and vent to the father. Sergio didn’t even realize he had been shaking his leg from either anxiety or impatience until he heard the pew shake from his movement. 

It had been a few minutes of tense silence as Sergio wrestled with the guilt in the pit of his stomach until finally he heard the priest get up to go to confession. Sergio attempted not to look relieved or overly eager to go speak with him, as the elderly woman was still sitting a few pews behind him, watching. Sergio offered her a slight smile before he went into the confession box and sat on the creaky wooden bench. 

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” Sergio spoke softly as he licked his chapped lips. 

“What is it, my son?” 

“It has been a few months since my last confession, and in that time I have managed to commit a grave sin.”

“And what sin was that?”

“I have committed adultery against my wife, Father.”

There was a small pause as the priest waited for Sergio to continue.

“I have cheated on her with someone I used to work with… I was away from home for work and the person I worked with was there. We had met up for dinner and one thing led to another, Father.”

Sergio tried to remain as gender neutral as he could as the person he had cheated with had been his former teammate and rival, Esteban, and he couldn’t bring himself to confess he also partook in homosexual sex. Sergio was taken out of his shameful thoughts once the priest cleared his throat. 

“Adultery is a grave sin,my son, it does not only harm you and your family, but it also hurts your relationship with God. This sin you have committed is an injustice to your family and it is soul crushing. You must atone for this properly… in order to relieve you of this sin you must do 10 Our Fathers, 5 Hail Marys, and pray to Saint Joseph and Saint Thomais everyday for a whole month.”

“Yes, Father.”

“After you do all this, the Lord will forgive you and absolve you of this. I shall also pray for you and your family so that this may never happen again.”

“Thank you, Father.” 

“Of course, my son.”

When Sergio stepped out of the confession box he was face to face with a rather disappointed looking stained glass Virgin Mary and he could feel a wave of nausea tear through him from guilt. Sergio’s eyes shifted down as he sped walked away from the window to sit back down on one of the farther back pews this time. Sergio pulled out his old wood and gold rosary and began to pray after doing the sign of the cross once more. Midway through praying the Apostles Creed, Sergio felt tears on his face as he thought back to the nights of sex he and Esteban had during the season. If his wife or anyone else had found out about it, his life would be over and so he wept quietly as he prayed for forgiveness despite knowing that God would not forgive him for the sins he committed. 

After Sergio finished praying the rosary, he wiped at his tears and placed it back into his pocket. It took him a few moments to gather the strength to leave the church, but after preparing himself mentally he stood up to leave the tezontle and white stone cathedral. He dipped his fingers once more into the holy water and did the sign of the cross once again and stepped out into the bright light of Mexico City. At the end of his visit to the church Sergio blended back into the crowds in order to make his way back to his car, and he would once more pretend that everything was alright.

**Author's Note:**

> This one is for Jack!! I love you my dude and hope you have a very happy birthday! You fucking rock my dude!!!  
> The title was inspired by the song Lamento Boliviano by Los Enanitos Verdes which I recommend you listen to.


End file.
